Mr. Lagerman

“Virgin Birth, Virgin Birth, Virgin Birth.”

“Accept my Covenant.”

“Are you sure you’re lying?”

“I didn’t get one hair cut. I got them all cut.”

“Holy cow and I’m not even Hindu.”

“Scholars. Do you know why I tell you to use a pen in class? I’m the boss of the applesauce.” 

“World War 3 will be fought with nukes; World War 4 will be fought with stones.”

“Isn’t Father Christian a chosen one?”

“I grab the barrel when he puts it through the door. We’ll have a little chacha.”

“We put Israel on the map.”

“Let’s go to the hood.”

“The next test won’t be so easy on you guys.”

Mr. Konshak

“TRX!”

“Dew me Bro.”

“You guys aren’t going to listen to me anyways.”

“Hit it with a log.”

“That’s not the IB Way… you know that.”

“I don’t skip leg day.”

“Fine, we will take a retake tomorrow.” 

Mr. Harry Geiser

“For you left-handers from De Pere and your voodoo algebra.” 

“Once I made a mistake.” 

“Save your math homework for English class; it will give you something to do.”

“Time to go to the LEFT side of the board.”

“Golf is a waste of good cornfields.”

“Extra points if you do it in English class”

“How do we make this into a ln? It has to do with the first letter in the word Satan.”

“I’m going to save your homework to sell on Ebay once you get into MIT.” 

“Now we’re done, DUN. Wasn’t that fun, FUN?” 

“Okay, Okay?”

“The gerbils in your calculator don’t mind arithmetic.”

“Remember: If you do it wrong, Red October will escape!”

“Calculus is the meaning of life!”

“*finishes problem* Amen.”

“Mmmm. . . Gallager’s Pizza, yum.”

“I am not a sir.”

“I would’ve sold my grandmother to know how to use a solver in high school.”

“Oop, that’s my first mistake in 200 years.”

“Check your symbols; otherwise the Titanic will sink.”

“This will be helpful when you get into MIT.”

“Nooo! Not my circles!”

Mrs. Gilson

“I can talk to rabbits.”

Mrs. Corriveau

“You gotta beat the dickens out of it.”

Mr. Winkler

“Does that have glitter on it? If it does, get it out of here now and never bring it back.”

Mr. Schultz

“Current Events?”

“I’ve never watched Mulan.”

Mr. Stary

“Yoinks.”

“De-nial is not just a river in Egypt.”

“Schmegle.”

Sra. Dory

“I’m 38, I love yard work, some good mulching and my vacuum.”

“We are not cavemen.”

Mr. Greisen

“Back when I was in the NFL…”

Mr. Kriegl

“Mid-week tweet this week.”

“Where in the directions?!”

“Where in the directions?”

“Why are you so bad at UNO?”

Mrs. Brown

“You are nothing but little losers.”

“I’m a CREEP!”

“Here’s the donkey park; that’s where you park your donkey.”

“… and then he beat his wife” *shoulder shimmy talking about boyfriend from her hometown

“You’re an idiot with cool shoes.”

“STACKED.” (classroom cry every time she put IB kids in groups) 

“I brought an aborted cat in a jar into my old school in Illinois.”

“Have I told you the story about my pet squirrel?”

“My ex-boyfriend is now in jail.”

Mrs. Campbell

“The thing that surprised me more was that when I told them to stop fighting, they didn’t.”

Mr. Guyette

“Today we will be calculating parabolic path of baseballs through the movie Sandlot.”

“One second, I’m almost done with this game of ‘Clash.”

Mr. Bobinski

“My college professor told me I was too qualified to be a high school teacher.”

Mr. Rudar

“This is BeefCake.”

Ms. Hollenback

“We were supposed to do a lab with peas today, but I ate them.”

Mr. Gray

“I’m just a tweed-wearing teacher that never does Kahoot.”

“If you’re ever in Woodman’s, check the ketchup aisle; you can find me in there shaking in a catatonic state in front of 50 types of ketchup bottles.”

“My friend and I would switch on goat mode and scurry around the roofs defying gravity.”

Doctora Mulroney

“Hoy es Miaucoles.”

“I really want this to be organic.”

“Honor where you are at.”

Mrs. Stanczak

“You get what I’m saying.”

“Doggies on the dashboard.”

Father Christian

“Bon Appetit, hope you all have a great day.”

Mrs. Hall

“Let it rattle you by the lumbar.”

“This is just so vitally important.”

Mr. Masarik

“It’s a rare day today at the academy.  There are no birthdays.”

“Do not approach the fox.”

Mr. Browne

“We are Catholic and excellent.”

Sra. Stover

“We are watching Jesus videos.”

“First things first.”

Frater Burris

“I met Kanye West.”

Mrs. Bennett

“I can’t take attendance until you are all seated.”

Mrs. Leonhard

“You guys gonna be quiet today?”