Jupiter Ascending is the story of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a young woman whose life consists of cleaning people’s houses and bad luck abounding.

Jupiter’s father (James D’Arcy) loved the stars and dreamed of naming her Jupiter. Her mother (Maria Doyle Kennedy) was adamant that their unborn child not be named after a planet. During this conversation, armed robbers burst into their home and shot Jupiter’s father in the stomach. Cut to years later, with Jupiter bearing the name that was her father’s last wish.

She is nearly killed by humanoid grey assassins one day and rescued by a man named Caine (Channing Tatum). He tells her that he is a genetically engineered hunter sent to track her down. From Caine and another ex-soldier, Stinger (Sean Bean), she learns that the Earth is only one of many inhabited worlds in the universe.

From this point on, things move very fast. Jupiter seemed to always be in the process of being kidnapped the rest of the movie because she is the heir to the Earth, the reincarnation of the mother of three-centuries-old siblings who want the Earth for themselves.

The most valuable currency is a blue-tinted liquid made from the bodies of dead people, which allows the aforementioned three siblings and many other aliens to live for so many years. Living on through dead people being murder and all, Jupiter must fight the whispery villain Balem (Eddie Redmayne) to keep the Earth from him.

The film was written and directed by Andy and Lana Wachowski, who also did The Matrix Trilogy. Jupiter Ascending had a budget of $176 million but has made only $35,856,979 as of the 19th of February.

I saw the movie and was impressed with its visual effects but less so with its story. The villain was hard to understand and had almost no depth to him. Jupiter came off as whiny and weak even though she wasn’t meant to be that way. Caine was my favorite character and I would see Jupiter Ascending again just for him. Who doesn’t want to see a wolf-man soldier kicking some butt?

Overall, though, Jupiter Ascending was disappointing. I had been hoping for more from the creators of The Matrix.