Cupid’s Corner: Halama Passes Bow & Arrow to Fuzz

Ryan (Fuzz) French, Staff Writer, Advanced Journalism

After last year’s astonishing success rate of 50%, and the wedding of Maddie Woodward and Sam Warpinski imminent, the Tritonian has decided to continue the time- honored tradition of couples who should be dating but aren’t.

“I, Jack Halama, have granted Fuzz French the responsibility of carrying the torch into the future. Let the games begin!”

This was a granted approval from Jack Halama for me to continue the comedy of the Cupid’s Corner part of the paper. So let’s get right into it with the couples that should be together but aren’t.

The first two people that should full time date each other are Jack Kress and Ella Tristani. These two have had some sparks flying the last week or so and maybe a magical night of Sweethearts will convince the two to go on a full date somewhere and enjoy some nice unsweetened iced tea (which is Jack’s favorite drink, but Ella is not a big fan apparently).

My second suggestion is for Mitch Chosa and Emily Burgess. These two have not had much contact over the years, but this last month Cupid has been calling their names. They are attending Sweethearts together and this may lead to more dates in the future. However, this could cause some unwanted drama for both. Only time will tell.

Another suggestion includes a member of the upper class and underclass. Senior Cole Whately and sophomore Hannah Bressers. This may be a scandalous one, considering they are a full two years apart in school, but, hey, Cole doesn’t care what anybody thinks. I say go for it my friend, go for it. And for Hannah, he’s a great guy and the obvious enforcer on the hockey team. Your mate needs to be strong in order to protect you and you’ll find that with this match.  

Many readers may be asking the question: But, Fuzz, how can you recommend so many but none for yourself? Well, that’s because senior spring is not meant to have relationships; it’s meant for barely passing your classes and snagging that diploma from Mr. Browne on stage at graduation. Also, I am leaving for Texas soon and hoping to find my match.